How to be less Bossy to People at Work

In recent months I have managed to integrate myself in a team of varying characters effectively. However, there are always going to be some people who can be more difficult to communicate with than others. I am not talking about a language gap, but more of a difference in attitude. I found it daunting to have to manage people who are all older than me. It almost felt backwards at thebeginning, to come into a business where people had been working years before me, being shown the ropes by them and then surpassing them in authority in a working environment.

This did not stop me though from taking the challenge face on and for quite a while I thought I had been doing a good job. I take my work seriously and I focused on ensuring I put the right people on the right jobs to ensure the required results were met at the end of the day. However, one of my colleagues that I had gotten to know well told me that some people found me to come across bossy. At first I was surprised and confused, asking myself is it just one person, is it a few, or does everyone think that?

This was a key learning point for me, I thought I had been doing right and I was very lucky to have someone who was honest to me in letting me know what others opinions had become. The first few days I stepped back and did not want to tell people what to do, unsure how I could approach it in a way that does not appear bossy. A thought sparked in my head, I put myself in their shoes and critically analysed my own behaviour. I take my job seriously and this came across in my communication as it made me appear to be a serious person. I quickly came to realise, I needed to change this and for that to happen I tasked myself to become more well acquainted with the other employees.

In break times I went out my way to spend time with them, have conversations, play pool in the canteen, see how they are doing personally rather than just at work. This built stronger interpersonal relationships and has been crucial to me handling challenging characters in the workplace. Now when I request someone to do a task for me, they are more willing to and I can lead the team with more ease.

A subtle thing that I do every morning when everyone arrives for work is I shake their hand and say good morning. Although this is nothing major, it starts the day off with me saying good morning to them rather than going straight into tasking them to do work. People want to feel valued, I have never seen myself above others but my persona could have appeared that way. Anoter great way to show employees they are valued is to recognise their efforts and showing them appreciation. Therefore, building positive interpsersonal relationships paired with emotional intelligence is key to appear less bossy as a manager.